when it hurts not to speak

When I began to realize I needed to split up with my first husband, my throat began to hurt with a searing pain. On the outside I sounded fine – my voice wasn’t even hoarse! – but it was excruciating to speak. The physical manifestation was a perfect, painful mirror of my inner state: I couldn’t yet speak aloud the truth of my new reality.

After several days of this pain, I finally said aloud that I needed out of my marriage. It took me another week to tell my husband, but as soon as I shared the truth with a friend, the pain in my throat began to subside.

Is there a truth you haven’t yet given voice to? It may not be physically hurting you, but it may be hurting you in other ways. You may be exhausted or irritable. You may struggle to be fully present in a situation that’s not serving you.

Most of us have truths brewing within for some time before we’re ready to speak them. All I can say is this: once you can wrap words around it, do so! It may be scary, but the alternative is one of pain…and it does no good for you or for those around you.

Have you ever had a time when the pain of not speaking outweighed the pain of holding back? 

Leave a Reply